Oh, I'm drinking early today!

I spent the first half of my day making Christmas cookies, Why? Who for? I sure as hell don't need to eat them. Well because that's what you do, you put on the Christmas songs, you strap on an apron and you get out your rolling pin. I should have known not to attempt any such project (during this particular time of the month, no not just the looming holiday- the other thing...you know what I'm getting at!) A little back story...I made "trial" cookies (I'm psychotic, that's why) They came out great, the right texture and design, they were picture perfect, and not to mention easy. I was golden, no sweat! I wasn't gonna get too crazy with them, just round cookies no tree shapes or fancy sprinkles, a simple blue icing and a snowflake design-beautiful! The trial cookies came and went and I was ready to recreate my perfect Christmas cookies that would have everybody wondering,"how did you find the time?" Fantasising over the oohs and ahhs of my mini baking masterpieces, I began The first three batches were coming along great. I got a phone call and let the last batch over cook, nothing that couldn't be covered with clever decorating! I set them aside and gave them plenty of time to cool. (Can I just say, thank god my child is now able to entertain himself with all those toys! Other wise where would I find the time to obsess) Mixing the icing wasn't going as well as I remembered. Why wasn't it thickening? hmm..maybe it will harden if I let it sit for a while, NOPE, Feel the escalation, here it comes, like ticking your way to the peak of a roller coaster you've never been on, I had no idea what was going to happen next but I knew it would be crazy! The cookies were not cooperating, I double checked the recipe, of course I forgot the one thing that makes it work...it was too late they were "decorated" maybe if I scrape off all the icing and start again? Becoming increasingly overwhelmed I started scraping, then they started breaking. With one swift move I cleared my counter of all things baking related. Like a scene in a movie when someone is about to do the sex throw down on their office desk. This was a different kind of throw down and it was between me and some cookies. I scooped them up off the floor, THREW them in the trash and proceeded to punch them. It was nothing short of a domestic temper tantrum. The baby saw me freak and decided to join in. Covered in blue icing, I washed my hands and tried to comfort my crying child. There we we were two messy puddles on the kitchen floor. (Sorry you had to see mommy that way buddy.) I had to leave the house. I got the baby and stepped over the scene of the crime and headed out for some retail therapy. When I got home I had to clean up. G@# dammit! That icing had hardened alright. I had to scrape it off the walls and cupboards. Freakin' sticks to everything but dough..I couldn't quite get all of it off the door. I know there are places in every home that haunt you as long as you reside there. Holes in walls from a fight with your brother (just examples) red wine stains on the floor from any number of drunken holidays. Mine will forever be the sugary stain on my kitchen door (until we replace the thing.)So what would the season be without some mom somewhere totally freaking out...I'm glad I could fulfill my contractual duty. Here's hoping a pound of Twizzlers and a glass of wine do the same thing as Valium!
Happy freakin' holiday! Feel read to read my original post. The one I was gonna post before today! Cheers!