My wallet VS. my conscience

I actually had a very pleasant early morning grocery shop with my two year old this past weekend. No tantrums, no little sister to take his spot in the cart, and no Daddy; who lets him run wild in the store making it practically impossible for me to concentrate. My shopping trips have become increasingly more difficult with a larger family and a much smaller budget. While I'm not currently working and all economic things considered we're like any other family in this country, we're feeling the pinch. I know now that eating healthy and budgeting are an extremely difficult balancing act. Kate Gosling is the only person I've ever seen do this flawlessly and she has help in the way of the TLC network. So no extra money or guest chefs appearing at my house anytime soon, I have to think hard and weigh my options. I found myself at the market standing in front of the eggs for a lengthy amount of time. There, was a carton of eggs for 99 cents. Large white generic eggs in a pink Styrofoam carton. In my other hand I had a carton of free range, organically fed, hormone free eggs resting nicely in a recycled cardboard carton. Obviously I would have rather bought the organic eggs,no hormones to make my son develop man boobs, and the cardboard could be flattened out and put in our compost heap. But today the were more than quadruple the price of the eggs in the Styrofoam container. Can you tell by now I have a hatred for Styrofoam. I must of stood there for 5 minutes talking it over with my oblivious toddler. In the end, my husband's voice rung in my ears. I chose money over what felt good to me. I try to be responsible about what goes into my children and my environment, but I can't always choose what is best, if the "best" is always a few bucks more. I already switched Oliver's chicken nuggets from Organic to Tyson. I used to make his baby food myself. Milk, is something I won't budge on. I'm convinced that's why girls are developing at such an alarming young age. I, by no means claim to eat all organic (god, and my ass know that a bag of oreos have nothing good about them!) but I know how important it is to reduce my family's carbon footprint and save my kids from harmful chemicals. So why do companies make it so hard for us to do that. Why can I get a case of Ding Dongs for a buck, but something grown in the ground naturally from a seed is gonna cost me fifteen. I guess clipping my coupons will have to make up the difference in the cost of the eggs. I have thought about those damn things all week. That Styrofoam is haunting me from my fridge!

Two little time...

You all know I have had a baby, you have face book. Della, she's beautiful..blah blah. Welcome back to my blog.
I’ve entered the full on balancing act that is parenting two under two. When I have a few good minutes, I have this book that I’m reading called Beyond Two; Growing a family and getting a life. The Growing a family I have managed to do quite well, it’s the getting a life part I’m having a hard time with these days. Most of my outings consists of trips to Target. Not terribly stimulating for me. It can be hard when you sacrifice yourself to the motherhood. Putting your career and social life on hold to have babies and raise them yourself at home. Staying at home with the two is great but can also be lonely and excruciatingly redundant. Being a parent of one you still have mobility, limited, but it’s there. You can venture out while they quietly sleep in the car seat, or snuggled up in a carrier. When it’s you against two, you don’t take trips that aren’t 100% necessary. Unless your prepared to be ambushed by the unthinkable dual meltdown. I’ve spent plenty of time driving in my car just to avoid it. Burning more gas than I care to think about just to get them to sleep at the same time. When you and your husband are parents for the first time you become a couple with a child. When you find your self with two or more it becomes a tag team partnership. Doing the not always graceful dance of putting out fires in tandem. One night Scott was in the bedroom dealing with our screaming toddler not wanting to get his diaper changed, as if we don’t do this to him several times daily for the last two years of his life. I had come out of the bathroom with a whaling newborn fresh from a bath she hated every blood curdling second of. We looked at each other and laughed. I yelled out “I love you!” over the two hysterical children and that’s one of those moments ,always have burned into your brain, when you realize… we have kids! You have to laugh, if you don’t you’ll drowned in a puddle of your own sweat and tears. Don’t get me wrong if you have ever had a phone conversation with me you know there have been tears. It’s gotten better, everyday gets a little easier. I’ve found somewhat of a good routine with the kidsI get days like this once a week when my Mother in Law takes Oliver for the day and I get to be a mother of one again for a day. It is a nice relaxing day usually spent running errands and sometimes I get a nap in! Plus I get to Blog again. I need something to keep my brain from turning any further into pudding.